My inability to speak up for myself and what that has meant to my children and to the way my life has gone. How would things have been different, how can I change them NOW, how do I find the courage, why do I sit in unhappy silence?
I am still plugging away at the baby blanket, I am finding it more and more enjoyable especially in the evenings when my brain can not do much but garter stitch and watch old episodes of Pysch on Netflix. Last week or the week before I believe it was Ginny who was reading Pope Awesome. I love a book about large families. Being a large family ourselves it can feel a bit only, so many parenting books/memoirs are by people with one or two kids... maybe three and most are still wee kidlets. This is a funny refreshing book. Although I am not Catholic, nor am I planning on becoming Catholic so much of what the author says speaks to me, and not just the funny parenting parts, but the searching parts and finding a path to God parts... I can so relate.
Over the weekend Fiona, Rowan, and I decorated a wreath I had picked up at Trader Joe's. It is boxwood, which I am not really sure what that is, but the wreath is lovely and bright green and not prickly like an evergreen wreath. I went to Target and got a box of inexpensive ornaments and some fun tinsel. Since Fiona had gone with me, I let her pick... and of course it was the nice wild colored box... but you know, the plain old green and red/silver and gold just gets old. Gotta love a wreath that has hot pink and purple balls and bright red snowflakes. We had a great time putting it together.
And finally... my Quince and Company yarn came. I had plans to knit up a Shalom Sweater for Audrey, but after casting on no less than 5 times and knitting to the first set of M1 stitches and not finding the correct kind, I am about to give up. I made this sweater before, but I have no idea what I did last time. I am toying with knitting up an Annabel pullover and just sort of fudging it so I can use "Puffin" yarn. Maybe by making the smallest size?? I have no idea. Both sweaters should knit up super quick once I figure it all out, so I believe I have enough time between now and December 21st.
Joining Amanda from The Habit of Being for Weekending and Taryn from Wooly Moss Roots for Gratitude Sunday. Sunday's heartfelt tradition. A time to slowdown, to reflect, to be grateful. A list of gratitudes...
~ A wonderful post Thanksgiving meal of gratitude with dear friends
~ Feeling better after a somewhat longish sickness (well it felt long anyway)
~ Cold mornings and warm afternoons
~ Finally finding a good book to sink my teeth into
~ Getting my Quince and Company yarn on Saturday
~ The new Taproot calendar
~ Fires in the fireplace
~ Roasted lamb shoulder
~ Hugs from my Fiona Rosy
~ Christmas lights showing up around the neighborhood
~ Staying up late enough to watch a movie with my honey
This weekend was wonderful, even though both Mike and I were sick. We were suppose to have Thanksgiving dinner with my family on Thursday, but since this cold was all in the chest we decided to NOT take it to my parents house and infect everyone there. Instead we had an impromptu dinner just the kids and us. And I had a realization... my kids don't really care for most of the traditional Thanksgiving fair. It was somewhat laughable when I thought about it, this huge dinner and no one really cared for the food. I decided from now on that we should just all pick a dish we love and I will whip it all up for Thanksgiving and Yule.
I have also been pondering the whole gratitude concept, what exactly it means to me and how I go about living it and breathing it. I do play a lot of lip service to being grateful, I try and be grateful... but I tend to stumble a lot along the way. I get so caught up in what "should be" and how I "could behave" or what everyone else is doing that I sort of forget my gratitude, or it is superficial gratitudes. Anyway, a lot for me to chew on and work through.
Friday was spent cleaning, and doing the laundry. And I must say that having my oldest son and my dear man home made the whole process so much nicer. Mike and I even got to watch a movie Friday night all cuddled in bed. Pretty amazing considering I can not actually remember when we last watched a movie together.
Saturday we had friends over for a post Thanksgiving feast of amazingness. Kids running around leaving doors open, actual adult conversation, great food. It was wonderful. And something I wish to repeat again and again.
And that lands us here, Sunday. What to do? Hang up lights around the house, do more laundry (is it ever done??), start knitting a sweater, and getting things already for the first night of Advent.
The baby blanket is coming along slowly but surely. It is actually a very calming and super easy knit. I calculated how many stitches will go into this wee baby blanket... over 30,000.
I have also decided to try and knit up a Shalom Cardigan for my oldest daughter before December 21st. So, the baby blanket my go on hold for a bit, I am still waiting for the yarn to arrive. I decided to knit it in Quince and Company's Puffin in glacier. Such a beautiful yarn. I am really excited to whip this sweater up.
It has been a wet and cold weekend here in Arizona (well cold for us anyway). We turned on the heater because we are a bit wimpy and had a fire in the fireplace. The sky has been overcast for days now, since Thrusday, and I am just not good with days and days of no sun. How we lived in Maine for almost 2 years I will never know.
I foolishly ventured out to a mall to find this mineral shop to by each of the kids a cool stone for the first Sunday of Advent... good night! No wonder I don't "do" the mall any longer. It is crazy there, and a bit traumatizing. I think the rest of the holiday shopping will be done either on-line or at local shops. Sis and D came over for dinner Saturday evening and there was lots of music played.
This morning all the kids slept in until well past 8 AM and that gave me a bit of time to myself that wasn't in the middle of the night. Mike and Cae made eggnog pancakes and bacon for breakfast. And there are no real plans for the day... so maybe it will be cuddling up with a fire, a sappy Christmas movie, and some knitting on the baby's rainbow blanket.
List of Gratitudes:
~ a wet weekend
~ feeling the wee baby move everyday
~ finding lovely rocks at the mineral shop
~ the living room cluttered with toys
~ listening to Caelan singing George Strait songs
~ the laundry being done AND folded
~ breakfast made by someone other than me
~ having a kitchen full of food