Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Our long weekend in Cottonwood with friends

Cae in the tree

eating breakfast (or was this dinner?)

sunshine thru the trees

buddies on the walk to the creek

fiona rosy

cottonwood fluff

the beloved "totoro" tree

rock throwing

rowan in the creek


digging holes

that wee blue speck... caelan on the other shore

whittling a widdle bit

snacks on the picnic table

painting with a friend

marshmallow time

nightly campfires are the bomb!

walking around the campground 

the convo between three 5 and 6 year old boys!

at the creek again... with LOGAN!

fiona having fun on daddy's lap

crawdad hunters

feet in the creek

the kiddie pool the kids built

one of the dad's hiding in the grass

What a great weekend. This is our second year going up to Cottonwood for the annual Verde Valley Birding Festival. We didn't do much of the festival stuff, but there was a heck of a lot of fun happening. Many, many, many hours on the creek, a fishing trip, hikes, snake spotting, tree climbing, nightly marshmallow roasting, sunshine, chilly nights, rising with the sun, crashing EARLY, playing, playing, playing! And not a single computer or TV screen seen by all the kids for 4 days! It was so beautiful watching them run and play in nature. Building dams, catching crawdads, mooching snacks, laughing... oh the laughing, and the scooter riding, and the talking with other adults for hours. Why don't we live like this all the time?
Can't wait until next year!

Thursday, April 18, 2013

{ This Moment }

Joining Soulemama for this weekly Friday ritual. A photo from the week, a moment I wish to pause, savor, and remember.

Honestly I had a hard time picking which was my favorite this week... so I chose both.


Life can have a way of throwing the wildest stuff at you when you least expect it. It has taken me some time and thought on whether or not I should share this. I am not sure what it all means, or if it will help anyone, or if it will just help me. About a month ago we found out I was pregnant. We had a few happy days before I started having a miscarriage. We only told a handful of people, we hadn't even told the grandparents yet... we were saving that for Easter, when everyone was together. To be honest, I was over the moon. But I usually am, I love being pregnant, I love having babies. I could have 100 children, I really could. Since hardly anyone knew I spent a lot of time wallowing in my grief, eating poorly, sleeping poorly, treating myself badly, wondering what on Earth is the matter with my body... why have I had so many miscarriages? Not wanting to talk to people because honestly I didn't want to hear the things they would say... "be grateful you have the children you do" or "it was god's will" or "what? pregnant again? what is the matter with you?" I wanted people to be happy with me, and when I lost the baby to be sad with me. Being the mama of a big family is a bit of an oddity in this day and age, and all sorts of people have something to say about it. Normally I just act like a duck, let it all roll off my back. To each their own, you walk your path and I will walk mine... but this, this death thing, this losing another baby, sometimes it is just too much. I don't want to hear it is for the best, or that it was technically a blob of cells, because if I am truly honest the minute there are two blue lines I am over the moon in love. They are no less loved then the 6 children who are Earthside with me, the 6 children who drank my milk, cuddled in my arms, spent 40 + weeks in my belly... back before I had kids I wondered how on Earth do you love more than one child? How do you divide up your heart like that? You don't... the amazing thing is is that it grows. My heart is huge and full to bursting with love for my children and each new little soul that has graced our lives just expands that love. SO those 4 little teeny tiny babes that never made it, they grew my heart no matter that they only lived inside of me for a few weeks or months.
So life has this way of throwing curve balls at you, it makes you think and ponder, it gives you things and takes things away. Sometimes the saddest times are the greatest times for growth. While I have been wallowing, hiding with food and the internet, I have been researching becoming a postpartum doula and training to become a lactation educator. Trying to take my sadness and using it in a way to help celebrate others joyful occasions of welcoming a new life into the universe. I found an organization that I am really happy with, and fingers crossed, by the end of the month I will be all signed up. And hopefully in 3 years or less I will be helping mamas and babies (and papas too), honoring this most precious gift, the gift of children.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Crafting, Yarning, and Reading

knitted with the yarn i dyed

fiona making a bookmark

rowan making a bookmark

current knitting and reading

fiona and cae making toothpaste

Crafting here has been slow going. Not sure what is up with me, I am knitting at a snails pace and reading even slower. Thankfully I got the newest issue of Sacred Pregnancy Magazine, so full of wonderfulness. The kids and I made bookmarks the other day, that was fun and glittery. What is it with kids and glitter? Well, if I am honest, I love it too... all over the house. And after a failed attempt a one homemade toothpaste recipe, we tried another, this one is much better, but still a bit...hmmm, it makes you sort of gag, just a bit. Better, in my opinion, then just plain old baking soda, but still nothing the kids will use, maybe someday we will prefect this and have awesome toothpaste, for now, it is all mine.
Joining Frontier Dreams and Small Things

Thursday, April 11, 2013

A day at the garden

We met up with some friends on Tuesday for a free visit to the Desert Botanical Gardens. I can not tell you how much I love this place. And this time of the year it is just so astoundingly beautiful. So many things in bloom. But most special, at least to me, are the cactus. These prickly somewhat uninviting plants do the most spectacular show in the spring, especially after a good wet winter (which we were blessed with this year). Hot pinks, oranges, yellows, whites, greens, delicate flowers that are so fleeting, maybe lasting all of one day, some only blooming at night to be pollinated by the secretive lunar moths.
The garden was packed to the gills with wild flowers... so fleeting, so lovely, so full of butterflies, lady bugs, and bees. I am lucky to have gone with my 2 year old, she points out all the loveliness, forces me to slow down (while all the big kids run fast towards the totally awesome climbing tree tucked away just off the path) and really enjoy all the beauty that is showing itself here at our lovely garden.  

Sunday, April 7, 2013

weekending... in photographs

Water play (Friday)

"Snow" ball fight

In the yard (Saturday)

In the house

 Pancake Sunday

Bike ride with daddy

Mud pies

Cleaning up the kitchen


Joining The Habit of Being and Wooly Moss Roots