Thursday, March 19, 2015

Just a few sleepless nights


What is the point of all of this? Am I living my life fully? Am I doing what I am meant to do? What does all of "this" mean??
This is what keeps me up late into the night, pushing to early morning. It is a seasonal thing, as the world around me starts to change I begin to wonder... what is my purpose? Am I living, really truly living? How much time do I have left, should I be wasting it doing A, B, or C?
On a blog the other day, the author mentions this in her weekend post. It seemed pretty amazing to me that someone else is pondering it all too.
I never know what to do with these thoughts except ride the wave and let the feelings, the emotions, the fear and doubt wash over me and clean me off as I come through the other side. All of this usually entails me power cleaning the house, eating crappy, not sleeping well at all, being cranky and distant as I refind my happy spot. Maybe one day, I will find my answer and I can then follow that light out of the weirdness and not have to actually do it again.

3 comments:

sustainablemum said...

Working out what throws us off the rails is the hardest part. I hope you get back on track, hopefully working out what it is along the way :)

Claire Potter said...

The same stuff troubles me A LOT at the moment. Then it passes. Then it comes again. I hope it's all for a reason - forces us to make changes, big or little.

Melissande said...

I think we all wonder this from time to time. I think it's natural. We are meant to be curious and to ask questions - to seek knowledge. I've been thinking on this a lot lately and how I want the trajectory of my life to go. Living intentionally, living purposefully. You are certainly not the only one.