On breastfeeding

For the last 18 years I have been breastfeeding or pregnant (or both) pretty much most of the time. Over those years my desire to be part of this... this birthing and breastfeeding business has just grown. For many years becoming a midwife was a passion of mine, but I just could not see a way to make it work with in my life. I really wanted to be home with my own babies, but still some how help other women, help other babies. Child birth education? Maybe. LLL Leader? Yes (working on that right now). But I am also an RN and have worked at least part time for many of the last 18 years and I wanted to use that degree in some way. I am not so hip on the whole hospital business, but I think those mamas need the help most of all. When the average IBCLC is pushing formula... I want to be better than that, to do better by those mamas who put their trust in the medical establishment. I want to help them in a meaningful way. What better way to help women and babies then to get them off on the right foot when it comes to breastfeeding. Nursing a baby can be such a lovely experience, it has many wonderful benefits for both baby and mom and well it is usually such a beautiful, magical experience (maybe not every single day, but most days).
So I am off on this journey to become an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant. I can use all the years in nursing school for part of it, I will be able to use the many hours of working with breastfeeding mamas in the LLL as part of it, the last part... the breastfeeding education part of it, well that is the part I am working on. To sit for the exam I must take classes that are OK'd by the IBCLE. They must follow the IBCLE exam blueprint. I am asking just this one time, if you feel compelled to help in anyway, it would mean so much to me. I have a widget on my blog that goes to my GoFundMe account. You can pop over there and check it out and donate if the mood strikes you. I promise I will not say another word about this.
Many many blessings!

Yarn Along

Joining Ginny from Small Things for the weekly Wednesday Yarn Along!

what i'm reading

what i am knitting

my fluffy mail!

what i finished

I finished up the shawl I unraveled last week. It turned out well, nice and cozy. I started on a spring/summer top/maybe dress for Fiona. I am using this pattern which is a super easy knit. I decided to use some cotton yarn I already had in a rainbow of bright "sherbet" colors (that is what my dear husband called them). It is coming along really quickly, especially when I am watching the holiday episode of Call the Midwife.
Yesterday when the mail arrived I was so happy to see my Jimmy Beans order had arrived. So much lovely squishy wooly, silky, bambooy, goodness. The yarn for Fiona's doll sling is here, and a bunch of lovely purple wool. I wasn't sure what I was going to do with my purple yarn but I have been toying with maybe making MYSELF a sweater. Maybe an Annabel Cardi. When Tracey at Clover knitted up 5 of them for Christmas, well I was inspired. I am not a "selfish" knitter, I tend to knit for others, but I must admit it is a bit disheartening when all the work is for not, well it makes one want to be a "selfish" knitter. I know I will wear the cardi, socks, shawls, mittens, hats, etc. The only person I knit for at the moment who wears what I make is Fiona... and to be honest sometimes she doesn't have a choice. LOL Being not yet two, sometimes mama just picks out the sweater vest and leg warmers, and warm wooly hat.
On the bedside table is Flight Behavior, I am still enjoying this book a lot. Barbara Kingsolver is such a beautiful writer. And I picked up my copy of Buddhism for Mothers. Someone in the Yarn Along last week was reading it and that reminded me that maybe I could use a refresher. We have been having some pre-teen tensions as of late, nothing too major, but this mama can use all the help she can get.
So, what are you knitting and reading?

~Weekending~

Joining Amanda from The Habit of Being for weekending.

a dress of Audrey's we found that now fits fiona.

I feel like this weekend passed in a wild busy blur. A good part of Saturday I spent taking my Mother in Law to her many shopping destinations, which is fun, yet exhausting. I am not a big shopper. And hitting four shops, one of which is Costco can leave a person pooped out. While I was out with MIL, Mike and the kids invented a new game called "Nutball" because to play it you must be a little nuts, plus the rules are all nutty as well. You hit a waffle ball with a small wooden dowel, run and jump into an empty kiddy pool (first base), the swing on a rope into a hola hoop (2nd base), at third base you must draw a picture on the chalk board that consists of at least three lines (unless you are 5 or under and then it can be just one line), and touch homeplate with out being tagged with the ball... which must be held in two hands behind your back. there are no teams, just everyone takes a turn at bat. Very fun to play, funner to watch. Sunday was all about cleaning the house. Bathrooms cleaned, 5 loads of laundry done, floors mopped, swept and vacuumed, rooms tidy, stuff put away. And some how with all that going on Mike and I got two hours to go out to lunch using a gift card Mike got from a co-worker. Those couple hours are really a recharge, so nice. Then Sunday evening we loaded up all Audrey's stuff and Mike took her back to the dorms. And here we are Monday morning, the start of another week. Here is to another awesome bunch of days.

* Gratitude Sunday *

Joining Taryn from Wooly Moss Roots for a weekly Sunday ritual. Sunday's heartfelt tradition. A time to slow down, to reflect, to be grateful. A list of gratitudes.

~ I am so grateful for the three weeks we have had with Audrey home, I am just a bit sad that vacation is over and she is back at college again. It was so lovely to have everyone at home again.
~ Sunny cool day
~ Mike spending Saturday with the kids making up a new sport... nutball
~ Finding time to read a really good book
~ Time to knit, but not at a manic pace, just working slowly on a project... a project for myself
~ Time to due some sewing for Fiona's up coming 2nd Birthday
~ Bacon, bacon, bacon
~ Our local rancher
~ Finding a dress that use to belong to Audrey and now fits Fiona, talk about flash backs
~ Watching Sagan enjoy reading "The Hobbit"
~ Surprise money
~ A clean house
~ Watching fun movies late at night with my man

{ This Moment }

Joining Amanda Soule of Soulemama. This moment, a single photograph from the week, a moment I wish to pause, savor, and remember.

Yarn Along

fiona's vest

audrey's shawl

Joining Ginny from Small Things for the weekly Wednesday Yarn Along.

While on vacation I knitted Fiona a vest using this pattern which I used to make both Cae's and Sagan's Christmas vests. And because I was very unhappy with how Audrey's techicolor dream shawl turned out (just too small) I unraveled the whole thing and reknit it using larger needles. It is almost twice the size, which means way more cozy. I also finished up my mystery gift just before we left town, and the shawl turned out great and was well received. I don't have a photo of it for some reason. I also unraveled my shawl (the Autumn  one) and am reknitting it with larger needles. I am a bit at a loss as to what to do now that my power knitting is all done. I got a couple free patterns, I might try a pair of socks, I started a pair sometime last year but really got all scattered when I got to the heel turn. One of my goals for this year is to push myself to try new things. And I think socks is a great place to start. I also want to learn to cable and to do fair isle knitting. So next Christmas could be very exciting!
My dear loving husband got me books for Christmas! I am currently reading Flight Behavior by Barbara Kingsolver. Like all of her books it is hard for me to put down. I am really loving it. While on vacation I read Let it Snow, I love that book. We got it for Audrey 4 years ago for Christmas and I have read it every Christmas since, I guess it is my Christmas read. Mike also got me a book by Oliver and S "Little Things to Sew" which is just full of cute things to make. I am working on a couple projects for Fiona's 2nd birthday, I am going to make her a bag to hold her goodies in, the one from Amanda Soule's first book; a quilt for her doll (we will be getting her one for her birthday, she is always stealing her brothers baby dolls) and I found a really neat looking doll sling pattern which I want to knit up in this yarn. Maybe if there is time I might try and sew up matching skirts for Fiona and her doll. (Is that weird??)

Happy New Year!

For some years now I have picked a word(s) instead of making a new years resolution list. They never seemed to work, those lists... but the words, well I can do that.
Usually my word or words are easy ones, at least for me. Gratitude, joy, happiness, etc. Yesterday while reading some blogs I read this post by Tracey at Clover... Embrace. Now that is a good word, a word that might have to be worked on. I love that word. I might be steeling that word for myself, adding to my own word... Surrender. Not in a weak sort of way, but in the "I am just done with fighting over every little thing" sort of way. Giving in, letting go, being at peace, being in a place of acceptance, balance, love, joy, gratitude... those are hard to see/feel when you are constantly fighting with life.
SO in 2013 I am surrendering to life, and embracing it. Both arms open wide, my heart out on my sleeve, my mind open, my mouth shut (ok, that might be a hard one for me), my ears open... i am ready to embrace this coming year, all the challenges, all the joys, all the wonderful, wild, amazing things life has to offer me.
And the "Jar of Blessings" which I saw on Facebook and also read about on this blog Moonroot. Now there is a great idea, place it right there on the dinner table, every one can add a slip of paper to it, and at the end of the year you sit down and read all the stuff that happened, all the great things. Even a bad year can have some bright spots, this would be a good way to remember all those those wonderful things.
It can be so easy to forget how amazing life can be, how precious a gift it is, how fragile it is, how full of miracles. My dear friend said yesterday "Life is 1% the things that happen to you and 99% how you see it" (or something like that). And you know, it is so true. Life can give you a crappy hand sometimes, but in the end it is how you deal with that hand, how you see the gift of life, how you over come the challenges, how you rise up and face your life, embrace it,  how you surrender to it, I guess that is really how your life is... not so much what happens to you, but how you choose to see what happens to you.
May you walk in beauty in 2013.