Thursday, August 27, 2015

Thoughts on Thursday

I think wishing for a life I don't have is only making me miserable. I mean I know it seems like a no brainer, but sometimes, sometimes I think maybe we all do it. Don't we? Wish to go back to the better days, or dream of this better perfect life that will come when just this one last thing happens. But that means right now, at this moment, at this time we wallow in suffering and angst. I'm really good at wallowing. Not that that is a good trait. It's just something I tend to do. But, you know... it sucks! I means I spend days, weeks, months, god I'm embarrassed to say it but years sometimes just wishing away my life for this mystery time when things will be better. I wonder how much of my life I have wished away? Maybe it is better that I don't know.
I guess for now, for now I need to realize that the "some day" isn't happening and to wish for it, to pine away for it is making my now time just blow! What sort of life is that?
My love and I have been formulating a plan to be more here, more together, more NOW! This cloud of funk that has been hanging over us, is our own making and the only way out is to take out a huge fan and just blow that trash away! It will take us being a unit, working together instead of feeling isolated and separate. Maybe it's been a midlife thing? Who knows, but it has been going on too long and it is time to put our foot down and say ENOUGH!


karen said...

I think we all tend to do that. What helps me is listing my gratitudes and focusing on what I do have, then I formulate a plan of what can I do to change anything. Sometimes what happens in real life doesn't match up to our dreams. I never thought my daughter would live on the west coast (sniff.). However, I'm focusing on the positive and ignoring my jealousy of seeing big families in church generations together.

I'll be keeping you in my thoughts!!

Suzy Mae said...

I think you'd be surprised how many people feel this way too. I have certainly been through it, especially for the ten years we lived in our old house. It feels horrible to wish your life away. I just wanted the best for my children. To bloom where we are planted can be very hard at times. These days with all the media and blogs ( where we often only see the best or most sensational part of people's lives ) it is hard to not feel discouraged. I don't beleive anyone has a perfect life though, however perfect it might seem to be from the outside. Relationships are what matter most in the end. Wishing you a peaceful weekend :)

Anonymous said...

i agree with both karen and suzy.... we all at one point or another "wish our lives away" so to speak... But here you are taking back control - good on you hun xxx

Darcel {MahoganyWayMama} said...

You're right, we all do it from time to time.
I'll catch myself daydreaming about the future, and sometimes it goes into wishing I was there now.
When you're going through a rough time it's hard not to wish away the moment and wait and pray for better days to come soon.

Sometimes it helps to look back over just the last six months and see how far I've come.
Hope you have a great weekend!