Thursday, August 27, 2015
Thoughts on Thursday
I think wishing for a life I don't have is only making me miserable. I mean I know it seems like a no brainer, but sometimes, sometimes I think maybe we all do it. Don't we? Wish to go back to the better days, or dream of this better perfect life that will come when just this one last thing happens. But that means right now, at this moment, at this time we wallow in suffering and angst. I'm really good at wallowing. Not that that is a good trait. It's just something I tend to do. But, you know... it sucks! I means I spend days, weeks, months, god I'm embarrassed to say it but years sometimes just wishing away my life for this mystery time when things will be better. I wonder how much of my life I have wished away? Maybe it is better that I don't know.
I guess for now, for now I need to realize that the "some day" isn't happening and to wish for it, to pine away for it is making my now time just blow! What sort of life is that?
My love and I have been formulating a plan to be more here, more together, more NOW! This cloud of funk that has been hanging over us, is our own making and the only way out is to take out a huge fan and just blow that trash away! It will take us being a unit, working together instead of feeling isolated and separate. Maybe it's been a midlife thing? Who knows, but it has been going on too long and it is time to put our foot down and say ENOUGH!