Thursday, April 23, 2015

Thoughts on a Thursday

Last week was a rough one, so much emotional drama. After about a year of not dealing with something, it finally came to a head. I couldn't just ignore it any longer, and so it got dealt with. And you know, I didn't realize what a weight that whole mess was until finally it was gone. I wish I had had the courage, the strength, the whatever it was, to deal with it a year ago. Maybe NOW was right time, even though it was a hard time, maybe I needed that time for growth?
Whatever the reason, what's done is done. And I am better for it. I worry too much about what people think of me, if people like me, if they want to be my friend. Instead I should be wondering should I allow myself, my family, my children to be treated this way just so I don't upset someone? This time I decided that "Nope, this isn't how we deserve to be treated". And so we worked it out. And it was good, really good. Suddenly I realize that we are worth more, my kids deserve better, and it's ok that not everyone likes me. It is a totally freeing feeling. Not that I'm going to turn into a jerk or something, but I am surely not going to sit back and allow us to be hurt again just to not make waves. Waves work to make change, and change is good.


Amanda Mathewson said...

Well done! I bet you feel like a million bucks now that that's over and done with! It's funny how we let things fester and hope they sort themselves out but we know in our guts that one day we're going to have deal with it.
I don't think you're alone in worrying about what other people think and letting it rule how things go. I do it too until I wake up one morning and realize enough is enough.

sustainablemum said...

I worry too, so you are not alone :). How wonderful to do what you did this week. I hope that you continue to feel better for having had the courage to do it. It is so easy to look back and wonder why you didn't do it before but like you say perhaps before the time was not right.

ammaslotus said...

Hi five! I'm proud of your courage to face what needs facing.
Love Sita